06/01/2018
Laying here at 2am, and as usual I am not sleeping. I am thinking about this cancer and am wondering if it will beat me. Not something I want to say out loud. I am starting to feel defeated, with this constant coughing and mucus on my chest, I know they are going to put surgery off until it’s better, but I don’t want it put off, I just want it out before it has a chance to spread. Come Monday the 8th Jan I meet the allergy specialist for testing, and then meet the surgeon at my pre op appointment in Brisbane at the Royal Brisbane Women’s Hospital,
I am feel somewhat nauseated tonight and I am wondering what’s causing it. Is it the cough, infection in the cuts, or is it the cancer itself. If it’s the infection maybe I should take the second box of antibiotics, if it’s the cancer maybe it’s a sign things are worse ☹️ Fuck this cancer, why is it doing this to me, I am not ready to leave this earth yet, I have so much I still wanna do, but nights like tonight I feel tired , not so well , and like I have lost my fight. Maybe tomorrow I will get the will get it back, I know I have to expect bad times but so far it seems not much has gone right.
Laying here at 2am, and as usual I am not sleeping. I am thinking about this cancer and am wondering if it will beat me. Not something I want to say out loud. I am starting to feel defeated, with this constant coughing and mucus on my chest, I know they are going to put surgery off until it’s better, but I don’t want it put off, I just want it out before it has a chance to spread. Come Monday the 8th Jan I meet the allergy specialist for testing, and then meet the surgeon at my pre op appointment in Brisbane at the Royal Brisbane Women’s Hospital,
I am feel somewhat nauseated tonight and I am wondering what’s causing it. Is it the cough, infection in the cuts, or is it the cancer itself. If it’s the infection maybe I should take the second box of antibiotics, if it’s the cancer maybe it’s a sign things are worse ☹️ Fuck this cancer, why is it doing this to me, I am not ready to leave this earth yet, I have so much I still wanna do, but nights like tonight I feel tired , not so well , and like I have lost my fight. Maybe tomorrow I will get the will get it back, I know I have to expect bad times but so far it seems not much has gone right.
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